What is Transformational Conflict™

The New Field Turning Disagreements into Growth

Most people see conflict as a problem to fix, a fire to put out, or — best case — something to “manage.” But what if conflict could be more than that? What if it could actually transform you, your relationships, and even the culture you work in? That’s the heart of Transformational Conflict™ — a new approach to navigating differences that doesn’t just resolve the issue… it evolves the people involved.

So, What Exactly Is Transformational Conflict™?

At its core, Transformational Conflict™ is the practice of using conflict as a catalyst for growth, connection, and deeper understanding — rather than just a problem to be solved. It’s not mediation-as-usual. It’s not about finding the quickest compromise so everyone can move on. It’s about slowing down enough to understand what’s really at stake, bringing self-awareness and emotional intelligence to the conversation, and using the tension of difference to create stronger, more resilient relationships.

Why This Approach Matters Now

Traditional conflict resolution often stops at agreement: “You take this, I’ll take that, and let’s call it done.” But agreements made without true understanding are fragile. They hold — until the next disagreement cracks them open again. Transformational Conflict™ focuses on clarifying core values and needs, strengthening trust, and building skills so future conflicts are handled better. The goal isn’t just to “get past this.” It’s to become better at all future conflicts.

My Rule: Resolve the Relationship, Not Just the Issue

The surface disagreement — the budget, the project deadline, the family decision — is rarely the whole story. If you don’t address the relational gap beneath it, the conflict will resurface in a new form. That’s why Transformational Conflict™ works at two levels: outer resolution — addressing the tangible disagreement, and inner resolution — shifting the mindsets, patterns, and blind spots that feed the conflict in the first place.

The Self-Coaching Moment

When you’re in the middle of a disagreement, ask yourself: If this issue magically disappeared, what tension would still be here? What skill, insight, or shift would help us handle the next conflict better? These questions move you from “How do we end this fight?” to “How do we grow from it?”

Your Turn

Think about your last meaningful disagreement. If you had approached it as an opportunity for transformation, what would you have done differently?

📄 Want a simple way to remember the key steps? Download the 1-page What is Transformational Conflict guide here: 

💌 Want to explore Transformational Conflict™ more deeply? Subscribe to Uncensored: The Self Coach Journal — my weekly newsletter on self-coaching, conscious communication, and turning conflict into connection.

🔗 If this gave you a new way to think about disagreements, forward it to someone who might benefit from reimagining conflict.

🌐 Learn more about my work at www.MarianneMacKenzie.com

P.S. The disagreement you’re in today could be the turning point that makes every future conflict easier — if you let it.