CHOOSE YOU! Monthly Group Coaching focused on Radical SELF-LOVE for Women

What Do You Have Control Over?

Jan 11, 2020

I’m coming to you today with something I often hear my clients tripping over that can really cause trouble. It’s the illusion that the smarter we are, the more successful we are or even just the older we get, the more things we have true control over. 

When we believe this idea, our brilliant brains go to work looking for PROOF that indeed we do actually have control over things. We focus on all the ways our children are finally paying attention to the things we say or we teach our dog a new trick. In business, we show off the ways our team is successful and when something goes wrong, we say “I told you so” or “if you’d only listened to me...”. Does any of this sound familiar?

 Regardless of how clearly we communicate something or the amount of time we put into "training" others, people don't operate the way we think they should. Try as we might, we can’t seem to control the things or people around us. This can be one of life’s greatest frustrations - others just not doing or acting the way we think they should. 

REALITY CHECK – If we pay close enough attention, we realize that we just don't have control over the things we think we do. It can be a rude awakening to find out that people aren't doing what we expect them too or act as we expect them to act. 

At the end of the day, we only have control over one thing - OURSELVES. This is truly the place where all of our power resides – in the beautiful ability to give up control over others and simply control ourselves. 

While right now you might not totally feel in control of your urges and cravings, your impulses and your reactions, or even your thoughts or feelings -- know this, it is possible! The time and effort you put into understanding how to control the ONLY thing you truly can control (yourself), will pay off in huge ways. 

You know those dreams you have that just won't quit burning inside of you?  The ones that feel just out of your reach most days. They don't have to be. The only way to reach your dreams is by learning to accept that the only thing you can truly control is...YOU!

Reaching your dreams will require you to be your best -- to pull out your fullest potential and each day show up more for yourself than ever before. It will require you to relinquish the false sense of “control” you try to exert over others and instead focus on YOU and what you can control.

You know what the best part is? Once you give up trying to control others, you’ll actually feel more in control than ever before. This takes time and happens slowly in small changes that leave you feeling the freedom of more and more in control over what you choose to focus on and how you show up. Don’t let the time and energy you waste trying to control others keep you from achieving your dreams.

That’s it for today’s #ReLTalk.

P.S. - what anyone else thinks about you and your behavior is none of their business. What you think of yourself is!  Be gentle with yourself as the web of confusion is lifted and you become even clearer on how to get what you want for your life. It will require you to know and practice the things I teach on this blog but you can do it! You’ve got this and I’ve got you!



Consider hiring me to create a workshop or custom coaching engagement to help your team, leadership team connect to their unique best self.  The outcome is discovering their confidence, energy, and focus.  After two decades of working in the corporate arena, I still find most of us do not know how to structure a lifestyle that supports our goals and dreams.  To reach those we must learn to be our best.  Bring our best work and attitude.  We have to take personal responsibility for who we are and how we choose to show up in life both business and personal.  Inspiring others to connect to this part of themselves and turn it into action is my magic.  I’d love to discuss how I can support your LEADERS.  Learn more here.


Could you use time and space to focus on yourself?  How about accountability to follow through on that desire? The CHOOSE YOU! Virtual women’s circle is created for just this purpose.  The desire to take better care of the inner self was present in my life, however everything else seemed to take priority until I discovered the practices that I share through CHOOSE YOU!  We meet 2x a month in the evening.  Want to join us?  Email [email protected] with the subject: “Tell Me More! Choose You group” and I’ll reach out to let you know when our next gathering is scheduled.  Learn More


Subscribe here to RēL Talk Tuesday, a weekly email written by master coach and teacher Marianne MacKenzie, lovingly referred to as the Queen of Radical Self-Care.  Passionate about helping women and the men we love to discover their own unique balance of lifestyle to live their best.  More on Marianne 

Looking for your people?  If you are curious about how to live a life of greater meaning and purpose, have an open mind, and desire to develop into your best self then let’s connect.  We would love you to join the TRIBE of RēL WOMAN, a private Facebook group. 



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