We all know the world around us is shifting and working through challenges that require change. Change can be really challenging. It’s actually one of our basic human needs as identified in Positive Psychology models. We literally need change to add that interest, spice, mystery and a dash of risk to our life. It can often make us feel refreshed, more interested and ALIVE! When uncertainty (change) is high, we are naturally in situations that cause us to grow. High uncertainty = high growth.
We also know that growth doesn't always feel great. It is uncomfortable! However, we all have different limits on just how much change (discomfort) we can handle without losing our sense of stability (a.k.a. losing our sh*t)!
We’ve all been there. When it is just TOO MUCH to handle that there is even one more moving piece out of our control. Through life, as we juggle more and more - our resilience stretches. As our resilience stretches we build muscles that are better able to handle change so we can handle more and more change WITHOUT losing it.
The opposite can happen too. If we AVOID change (think of opportunities turned down, not moving or taking a new job, not accepting the additional responsibility, saying no to a social invitation or buying that new home, not choosing to start or end a relationship) -- you will grow to FEAR change.
Life is all about the choice to ride the waves of change. We become skilled by failing and getting back up. As a coach, I guide others through changes and challenges every day. They are a normal and natural part of life. Sometimes change can feel positive and other times it can rock our world in unexpected and ugly ways.
Many people have a very high threshold when it comes to uncertainty. They can manage massive amounts of change, while still being highly functional and keeping their personal and business life together, but everyone has their limits.
When hitting your limit of change, your beautiful brain kicks into a different gear and can make you think that you are weak, incapable, or that the task at hand is impossible. So, how can you accept and move through life when massive change is facing you? Here are the most important things to stay centered when it feels like everything is moving around you.
Find Your Foundation
We all have basic needs that keep us comfortable and feeling safe. Get back to basics and write down just what are the basic things you need to feel your feet are firmly on the ground so you are better able to manage unexpected change coming your way. When you know what yours are you can validate you are getting these needs met. Often you will find you are not and it is throwing your ability to manage change.
Your state-of-Being, the way you feel will often be the first clue that you are out of balance. You can not fix your situation coming from stress, fear, frustration etc. Your decisions will increase the chaos if you are not in a good state-of-Being. What makes you feel good? Do one of those things to shift your energy. The way you feel.
Get it Out of Your Head
When change occurs or you are needing to make a change, there are usually many decisions to be made. We can't control events outside of ourselves or other people. We CAN control how we respond and choices we make based on changes that happen.
Making a list of all the decisions that need to be made are a great way of clearing out the brain fog and overwhelm that often accompanies change. Do this. Write down these questions and quickly answer them. You will free up major brain space making you feel better. From that space you can choose how you respond. What actions you take? What decisions need to be made? What are the obstacles (time, money, unknown, others)?
When you can see all the decisions and potential obstacles you can start crafting a plan to address each one. You move into the power seat of engaging in the direction the situation will go. What decisions can you make now? Make those decisions. Make a decision and move forward. Sometimes the decision is that you need to get someone else feedback. Do that. Take action.
I encourage you to ride the waves of life and when you fail . . . get back up and try again.
That’s it for today’s #ReLTalk.
P.S. - what anyone else thinks about you and your behavior is none of their business. What you think of yourself is! Be gentle with yourself as the web of confusion is lifted and you become even clearer on how to get what you want for your life. It will require you to know and practice the things I teach on this blog but you can do it! You’ve got this and I’ve got you!
Consider hiring me to create a workshop or custom coaching engagement to help your team, leadership team connect to their unique best self. The outcome is discovering their confidence, energy, and focus. After two decades of working in the corporate arena, I still find most of us do not know how to structure a lifestyle that supports our goals and dreams. To reach those we must learn to be our best. Bring our best work and attitude. We have to take personal responsibility for who we are and how we choose to show up in life both business and personal. Inspiring others to connect to this part of themselves and turn it into action is my magic. I’d love to discuss how I can support your LEADERS. Learn more here.
Could you use time and space to focus on yourself? How about accountability to follow through on that desire? The CHOOSE YOU! Virtual women’s circle is created for just this purpose. The desire to take better care of the inner self was present in my life, however everything else seemed to take priority until I discovered the practices that I share through CHOOSE YOU! We meet 2x a month in the evening. Want to join us? Email [email protected] with the subject: “Tell Me More! Choose You group” and I’ll reach out to let you know when our next gathering is scheduled. Learn More
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