CHOOSE YOU! Monthly Group Coaching focused on Radical SELF-LOVE for Women

It's Your Life: Do You RENT or OWN?

Sep 08, 2020

Through the past many years of working with people, it has become very easy for me to identify those that will be challenged in nearly every area of their life simply because they haven’t realized they have made a choice about living life as a renter rather than an owner.

I’ve rented and I’ve owned in life and there is a BIG difference.  One is without full and absolute responsibility and one is realizing once you sign on the dotted line it is your responsibility to maintain it, develop it, fix it, paint it, clean it, renovate it, replace broken bits, pay for it and when are finished it is you who gets to sell it.

Life works the same way.  YOUR life is what I’m specifically talking about.

Yes, each one of us has made this choice whether consciously or unconsciously to be a renter or an owner of our life.  We demonstrate our choice with each decision we make and with each action we take.  Don’t believe me?  Well, it looks like this.

A RENTER . . .

  • puts off taking care of their health until something breaks down so badly they can’t function properly
  • thinks they can eat whatever they want because the long term effect isn’t a care to a renter.
  • Avoids the critical conversations with people that mean the most to them again putting off the discomfort of the moment for a long term gain.
  • Believes that they “are who they are” and nothing can really change – they tolerate.
  • Feels out of control really getting or having what they truly desire . . . they will just settle for what is available.
  • Believes you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.
  • Puts up with less than superior results.
  • Doesn’t challenge the status quo or themselves for that matter.
  • Settles for a job instead of creating work they are passionate about.
  • Believes that relationships are just one big compromise and yes it isn’t great but it’s better than the alternative . . . nothing or nobody.
  • Isn’t actively creating and engaged in making a difference in their own life, their families, or their communities.
  • Goes through the motions each day . . . “another day another dollar” is their slogan
  • Believes they have to “do it” because nobody else will – not because it delights them or honors them.
  • Believes their desires are just dreams and they stopped dreaming years ago
  • Often wonders why they even try . . . it just works out the same every time anyway.
  • Blames others because the emotion of taking responsibility is too painful.
  • Feels failing is too scary . . . what will others think?
  • Often uses the words BUT and OR
  • Often feels life is happening TO them . . . a bit victimized by it all (by the way don’t even think of getting them to admit this one out loud)
  • Has a very difficult time owning their own shit. Blame is the name of the game.
  • Often addicted to stress and feels it is out of their control
  • Doesn’t trust the process of life
  • Often lies to themselves or commits to things they never follow through on.
  • Plays it safe.
  • Spends much of their time doing things to please others
  • Takes much of life personal . . . getting offended and hurt often

Whereas an OWNER approaches life with a different mindset. 

AN OWNER . . .

  • Knows their body is the vehicle through which they enjoy life . . . they treat it like a beautiful machine.
  • Believes they can get what they desire and they stretch their desires bigger and bigger
  • Knows that life is happening FOR them . . . not to them.
  • Understands that their dreams are their birthright.
  • Plays big because they know it is their game
  • Takes responsibility even if they can’t always see how it is totally theirs – they know deep down somehow it is.
  • Understands that stress is a choice and knows how to correct a stressful situation.
  • Delights in problem-solving and knows there is always a choice.
  • Knows that being offended is a choice.
  • Takes risks that are in alignment with their dreams and desires – regardless of failure lurking just around the corner
  • Loves to do things that bring them pleasure
  • Looks for opportunities to see their own bullshit so they can transform it into lessons learned
  • Knows they don’t have to do it all and honors the areas of their expertise, focusing their efforts there and employing the expertise of others.
  • Seeks growth opportunities – knows they can change and desires to grow
  • Trusts the process of life
  • Is brutally honest with themselves and seeks relationships with others who will be honest with them too.
  • Tells the truth even when lying would be easier on everyone involved.
  • Delights in the lessons learned from failing . . . even though they love to win
  • Doesn’t take other's choices or behaviors personally
  • Believes in pleasing themselves and being in alignment with their own integrity.
  • Knows how to change their state-of-being to move from low to high feelings
  • Isn’t afraid to love and love big!
  • Seeks joyful experiences
  • Is passionate about their life
  • Takes responsibility with what they bring or give to others.
  • Thinks in AND phrases . . . this AND that.
  • Knows that each day is just a new opportunity to experience an even better version of themself.

Being able to see some of the differences in renting and owning will give you the opportunity to assess yourself and where you are currently in your life.  Remember it is only a temporary situation.  Ownership is a spectrum moving toward greater and greater responsibility as an owner of your own life.

Use these identifiers above to decide what you aren’t doing that you like to include in your life experience.  Keeping a tab on your progress will help you see the progress you are making toward taking even more engaged responsibility in your own choices.  Remember the journey of life is to move you closer to the best-version-of-yourself. I’m right here beside you on this journey . . . learning as I go too.

Next time you have a choice to be a renter or owner I encourage you to take a pause and just imagine how much more empowering it feels to be an owner.  

That’s it for today’s #ReLTalk. 


P.S. - what anyone else thinks about you and your behavior is none of their business. What you think of yourself is!  Be gentle with yourself as the web of confusion is lifted and you become even clearer on how to get what you want for your life. It will require you to know and practice the things I teach on this blog but you can do it! You’ve got this and I’ve got you! 




Consider hiring me to create a workshop or custom coaching engagement to help your team, leadership team connect to their unique best self.  The outcome is discovering their confidence, energy, and focus.  After two decades of working in the corporate arena, I still find most of us do not know how to structure a lifestyle that supports our goals and dreams.  To reach those we must learn to be our best.  Bring our best work and attitude.  We have to take personal responsibility for who we are and how we choose to show up in life both business and personal.  Inspiring others to connect to this part of themselves and turn it into action is my magic.  I’d love to discuss how I can support your LEADERS.  Learn more here.


Could you use time and space to focus on yourself?  How about accountability to follow through on that desire? The CHOOSE YOU! Virtual women’s circle is created for just this purpose.  The desire to take better care of the inner self was present in my life, however everything else seemed to take priority until I discovered the practices that I share through CHOOSE YOU!  We meet 2x a month in the evening.  Want to join us?  Email [email protected] with the subject: “Tell Me More! Choose You group” and I’ll reach out to let you know when our next gathering is scheduled.  Learn More


Subscribe here to RēL Talk Tuesday, a weekly email written by master coach and teacher Marianne MacKenzie, lovingly referred to as the Queen of Radical Self-Care.  Passionate about helping women and the men we love to discover their own unique balance of lifestyle to live their best.  More on Marianne 

Looking for your people?  If you are curious about how to live a life of greater meaning and purpose, have an open mind, and desire to develop into your best self then let’s connect.  We would love you to join the TRIBE of RēL WOMAN, a private Facebook group. 



50% Complete

Two Step

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.