Emotional Triggers: What to Do When Your Buttons Get Pushed

Most of us think of “triggers” as explosions — the moments when someone says or does something that sends us over the edge. But the truth is, emotional triggers often start much smaller.

It’s the knot in your stomach when a colleague questions your idea.
It’s the flash of irritation when your partner interrupts you.
It’s the sting when a friend cancels plans — again.

Triggers aren’t random. They’re signals. Each one points to something deeper — an old story, a tender spot, or a need that matters to you.

The problem isn’t that we get triggered. It’s that we don’t always know how to notice and work with those triggers before they hijack us.

Everyday Signs of Emotional Triggers

Here are some of the most common ways triggers sneak into daily life:

• Overreactions: Your response feels bigger than the situation itself.
  
  
• Physical Sensations: Tight chest, flushed face, clenched jaw.
  
  
• Repetitive Patterns: The same kinds of situations push your buttons over and over again.
  
  
• Inner Critic Echoes: The words that sting most are often the ones you already fear are true.
  
  

These moments may feel small, but they matter. Because every trigger is a doorway to self-understanding — if you’re willing to walk through it.

Why Naming It Helps

The moment you notice, “Oh, I’m triggered right now,” you create a gap between the feeling and your reaction.

Naming it gives you choice.

• Instead of lashing out, you can pause.
  
  
• Instead of shutting down, you can breathe.
  
  
• Instead of replaying the story, you can rewrite it.
  
  

When you see triggers as information instead of threats, they become powerful guides.

The Self-Coaching Moment

Next time your buttons get pushed, pause and ask yourself:

• What emotion is rising in me right now?
  
  
• What story is this trigger tapping into?
  
  
• What do I actually need in this moment?
  
  

These questions move you from being hijacked by the trigger to working with it as a tool for growth.

Your Turn

Think back over your last 24 hours. Where did you feel emotionally triggered? A word? A glance? A tone of voice?

Write down three triggers you noticed. What might shift if, instead of reacting automatically, you paused long enough to listen to what those triggers were trying to tell you?

📄 Want a simple way to remember the key steps? Download the 1-page Emotional Trigger Tracker worksheet 

💌 Want more ways to turn emotional triggers into clarity and connection? Subscribe to Uncensored: The Self Coach Journal — your weekly guide to self-coaching, conscious communication, and Transformational Conflict™.

🌐 Learn more at www.MarianneMacKenzie.com

P.S. Your triggers aren’t weaknesses. They’re signals. Listen closely, and they’ll show you where your deepest growth lives.